Turning Over a New Leaf in the New Year

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It’s that time of year again!

The time when people start to talk about their New Year’s resolutions.

The beginning of a new year is a great opportunity to reflect back on the year we’ve had, what we’ve accomplished and learned, and what our priorities and goals are for the year ahead.

At the same time, many of us go about setting these goals and priorities in way that feels harsh and critical — and also tends to set us up for failure.

So what can we do to start off this new year on the right track? Read More

Self-Care 101: Setting Healthy Boundaries

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I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries lately: why they’re important — and yet why so many of us struggle with setting them.

I was talking to a friend in the US a few weeks ago. She was telling me how overworked she is and how she doesn’t have time for some of the things that are really important to her — spending time with her family, traveling, working on some creative projects, taking time to just relax and enjoy life. Even some parts of her work — the parts she finds most meaningful and satisfying.

The problem? Emails. Requests. Invitations to give workshops and presentations, to sit on committees, to write book chapters. Read More

Post-Election Self-Care

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long road aheadI’ll admit, I’m feeling a bit torn about writing anything about the US elections here on the blog.

But I also feel like I can’t just ignore it.

I know that many readers of this blog are not Americans. But a number of you are. And I am. And both Americans and non-Americans alike have been impacted by this and are likely to continue to be impacted for some time.

I’ve been hearing the reactions from many of my clients. I’ve been hearing from my friends on both sides of the Atlantic. I’ve been feeling the impact myself.

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Rentrée Ready!: 7 Back-to-School Tips for Teens to Start the Year Off Right

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rentrée teenAs August winds down, the start of the new school year here in France is just around the corner.

Are you feeling ready for the rentrée?

Whether you’re starting at a new school — perhaps even in a new country — or whether you’re going back to the same school this fall, the rentrée can be a time of both excitement and some anxiety. Between academics, extra-curricular activities, social challenges, and family pressures, many teens feel stretched thin and stressed out.

On top of all that, the teen years are full of their own challenges: figuring out who you are, clarifying what’s important to you, exploring new relationships, and renegotiating relationships with family members as you gain maturity and independence. These are exciting but challenging times, and all of the changes can send you on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure of yourself.

How can you start the year off right to ensure that you don’t get bogged down with stress or emotional upset? Here are some tips to keep in mind to start your school year off on the right foot! Read More

A Taste of Mindfulness: Fine-Tuning Your Awareness Through Mindful Eating

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raspberriesThe practice of mindfulness involves focusing our attention on the present moment — as it unfolds from one moment to the next.

However, when you’re just getting started with practicing mindfulness, it can be hard to know what to focus on. So many thoughts and distractions come into our minds, and it can be challenging to remain in the present.

To begin to train our awareness to stay in the present moment, we often use different “anchors” — such as our breath, sounds in our environment, or sensations in our bodies (like a cool breeze on our skin or the chair beneath us) — to keep us grounded in the present moment.

All of our senses can serve as potential anchors, helping us keep our metaphorical feet planted in the here and now. One of my favorite exercises for practicing mindfulness — mindful eating — incorporates all 5 of these senses. Read More

Myths & Misconceptions About Counseling & Psychotherapy

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womanCounseling and psychotherapy can be powerful methods of healing and growth. They can help us work through challenges, increase our self-awareness, clarify our values, and strengthen our relationships.

However, while our society is becoming more and more open to this idea, there are unfortunately still some common myths and misconceptions about counseling and psychotherapy that discourage people from seeking help when they could really benefit from it.

To get a better sense of what counseling actually is — and is not — let’s explore and unpack some of these myths together. Read More

Learning to Listen to Yourself

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woman

You know that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach? The one that says something’s not right?

Or the ease and comfort you have when you’re with someone you really trust? The feeling that says, “This person is safe. I can let down my guard.”

Or maybe you’ve noticed how energized and excited you feel about certain aspects of your work and how drained you feel by others.

These feelings have important messages to tell us if we only listen. But too often, we don’t tune in enough to hear what they have to say. Or if we do, we don’t trust them.

Maybe we did trust them once upon a time — but we’ve been burned.

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Bird Poop & the Power of Perspective

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pigeonA True Story…

There I was, standing at the corner just across the street from my apartment, waiting for the light to change… when PLOP.

Right on my forehead and across the lens of my glasses.

Bird poop. On my face.

My first, reaction was just to be startled, since it seemed to come out of nowhere. However, as soon as I realized what had happened and it began sliding down my forehead, I felt my mood begin to slide in the same direction. Read More

Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the (Marital) Apocalypse

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couples 1If two people stay together long enough, they are bound to have some conflicts, some issues or topics that cause discord, some negative patterns.

Maybe he doesn’t pick up after himself.

Or maybe she doesn’t make as much time for him in her busy schedule as he would like.

Maybe they have different ideas for how to discipline their kids. Or handle their finances. Or how often they’d like to have sex.

While many of these issues may be resolvable, some may not be. And — news flash — that’s actually ok! The fact that not all conflicts get resolved doesn’t necessarily mean doom and gloom for a relationship. The question is not whether all the issues are ultimately completely resolved but rather how well a couple learns to manage them — and to nurture their relationship in spite of the residual issues that crop up from time to time. Read More

The Legend of the Two Wolves

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wolfThere’s an old Cherokee legend about two wolves that goes like this:

An old man was talking to his grandson about life.

He told the young boy, “A battle is going on inside of me. It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf represents all that is bad — fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf represents all that is good — joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, and compassion.”

The old man then turned to the boy and said, “The same fight is going on inside of you, and inside of every person on this great earth.”

The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he turned to his grandfather and asked, “But which wolf will win?”

And the old man replied, “The one you feed.”

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