Mindful Expat Episode 22: Supporting Expat Kids Through Relocation

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Today’s Mindful Expat Guest is Kate Berger, MSc!

Kate is a child and adolescent psychologist based in Amsterdam. Her private practice is called the Expat Kids Club, and — as the name would suggest — she specializes in working with expat and Third Culture Kids and their families. She is originally from New York, completed her bachelors degree from George Washington University in Washington, DC, and then moved to the Netherlands to continue her studies at Leiden University, where she received her masters degree in child and adolescent psychology. Kate’s own experience of living abroad has shaped her interest in working with young people in this intercultural space. Kate not only works with expat kids and their families in Amsterdam, but she also does consulting and outreach worldwide on issues relevant to the community of expat families.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Some of the common struggles that Kate sees expat kids struggling with in her practice.
• How the stress of relocation impacts kids’ emotion regulation skills and ability to plan and make decisions (and a bit of brain science behind this).
• What parents can expect as their kids adapt to a new culture and how to know when it’s time to seek outside help.
• How parents can help prepare their kids for an overseas move by creating an emotional language and modeling their own ability to reflect on and articulate their emotions.
• Some of the real gifts that an expat life can offer kids and some of the strengths that expat kids tend to develop through their experiences. Read More

Mindful Expat Episode 15: A Compassionate, Growth-Oriented Approach to Cultural Adjustment (With Guest: Sundae Schneider-Bean, MA)

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Today’s Mindful Expat Guest is Sundae Schneider-Bean!

Sundae is an intercultural strategist and solution-oriented coach, and – as she says – she’s on a mission to help expats make the most of their lives abroad!

Sundae is originally from the United States, from the state of North Dakota. Even before meeting her Swiss husband and launching on a series of international moves with him, Sundae had a thirst for international adventure. In her early 20s, she traveled extensively throughout south-east Asia, where she met her husband in Vietnam – which then led her to move to Switzerland. After a number of years together there, they then moved to Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso, where they stayed until in 2016 when the political situation and lack of security in the region made it no longer safe to remain – at which point they relocated to South Africa, where they now live with their 2 children.

Sundae has her masters in Intercultural Communications and is a certified coach with the International Coaching Federation. Her experiences of living and working across cultures, being in an intercultural marriage, and raising bicultural TCK children makes her no stranger to the challenges – and opportunities – of expat life. As an intercultural strategies and coach, she works to help other expats navigate these challenges and learn to thrive in their lives abroad and make the most of their experiences.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Debunking some common myths about the cultural adjustment process and how believing these myths can be detrimental to our wellbeing and adjustment as we adapt to a new culture.
• How there is no one “right” way to move through the process of cultural adjustment and some of the factors (personal and contextual) that can impact what this process looks like.
• How our expectations can shape our experience — for example, by making us either more or less patient with ourselves as we move through the cultural adaptation process.
• How “culture shock” isn’t necessarily a bad thing and how we can use it as an opportunity to increase our own self-awareness.
• The importance of self-acceptance and self-compassion (rather than being harsh and critical toward ourselves) as we adjust to a new culture. Read More

Mindful Expat Episode 10: Finding Community & Building Authentic Connections on the Move (with Guest: Naomi Hattaway)

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Today’s Mindful Expat Guest is Naomi Hattaway!

Naomi is from the United States (originally from Nebraska). She and her husband have 3 children, and together they have lived in New Delhi, India, and Singapore. They’ve now repatriated back to the US — first to Florida, then to Northern Virginia, and now to Columbus, Ohio.

Naomi is the founder of 8th & Home, a real estate and relocation company, where she specializes not only in helping families with the practical details of relocating, but also helps them find and build a true sense of community – where they can really thrive – in their new homes.

Naomi is also the founder of an amazing movement called, “I am a Triangle” (which was the helpful resource that Amel Derragui shared with us back in episode 6!). In 2013, Naomi wrote a blog post, entitled, “I am a Triangle and Other Tips for Repatriation,” where she wrote about her experience of living abroad and repatriating, using the shape of a triangle as a metaphor for her experience – saying that when we come from a country of squares and then we move to a country of circles, each of these experiences and cultures impacts us so that we eventually become a triangle – someone who may not completely fit in in either country. This article quickly went viral because it resonated with so many people, and Naomi has since built a community of fellow Triangles – people who may not feel as if they truly fit in either their passport countries or their host countries, but who find their sense of community and belonging with fellow Triangles.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• About Naomi’s journey of living abroad and repatriating back to the US — and about some of the unique challenges of repatriation.
• How the “I am a Triangle” movement came to be and the wonderful benefits of connecting with fellow Triangles.
• How focusing on how we can be of service to a new community (rather than focusing on what the community can offer us) can offer a path to belonging in our new homes.
• The importance of vulnerability in allowing us to make authentic, meaningful connections.
• The importance of finding the right balance of in-person vs. online connections (which may be different for each person!). Read More

Mindfulness Abroad

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womanYou may have noticed that I’ve written a fair number of blog posts on the subject of mindfulness so far.

And if you’re an expat or international student following this blog, you may be wondering what mindfulness has to do with your experience of living abroad.

Good question!

While the practice of mindfulness can be helpful for almost anyone, those of us living outside our comfort zone for a period of time may find it especially helpful for a number of reasons. We’ll talk about just 3 of these reasons today. Read More

Cultural Adjustment, Part 4: Moving Abroad with Kids & Teens

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teenIn the last several posts in this Cultural Adjustment Series, we’ve looked at the phenomenon of culture shock, the phases of cultural adjustment, and the experience of moving home after a time abroad.

In today’s post, we’ll take a closer look at how culture shock and cultural adjustment have a unique impact on kids and teens and how you can help your child prepare for or adapt to an international move.

Culture Shock for Kids & Teens

While some of the things we’ve discussed in the previous articles may also apply to kids and teens who move abroad (such as the various manifestations of stress) their experiences can also be quite different from those of their parents.

For one thing, adults are generally in charge of making the decision to move abroad. Even if they are under pressure or have mixed feelings about it, most of the time, they can ultimately say yes or no to an opportunity. Read More

Cultural Adjustment, Part 3: There’s No Place Like Home

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welcome-matIn the previous article in this Cultural Adjustment Series, we covered some of the most popular theories of cultural adjustment — the U-Curve and W-Curve models.

As I mentioned at the end of that article, one aspect of the expat or international student experience that is often left out of these models is the experience of moving back home after having lived abroad for a period of time.

We generally assume that moving back home should go smoothly — after all, it’s home! But this isn’t always the case.

Let’s take a closer look at the process of what is sometimes called repatriation or reintegration — a.k.a. going home.  Read More

Cultural Adjustment, Part 2: The Expat Rollercoaster

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roller-coasterIn the previous article in this Cultural Adjustment Series, we discussed the concept of culture shock and how it can manifest differently for different people.

Today, we’ll cover some of the basic theories or models of cultural adjustment that have been developed over time to explain the experience of expats and international students when they move abroad.

(This is a longer-than-usual post, but it’s full of information that I hope you’ll find useful!) Read More

Cultural Adjustment, Part 1: Say Hello to Culture Shock

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photo-1437623889155-075d40e2e59fMoving to a new country and adapting to a new culture is both incredibly rewarding and unbelievably challenging — sometimes at the same time.

Researchers have developed a number of different theories to try to better understand the process of adjusting to a new cultural environment. In this article, we’ll discuss the concept of ‘culture shock’ and how it can manifest differently for different people.

Then, in the next few articles in this Cultural Adjustment Series, we’ll discuss some of the theories of cultural adjustment, as well as some of their limitations — and how all of this might help you make sense of your own experience of life abroad. Read More

Introduction to the Cultural Adjustment Series

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Let’s kick off the new year with a series of posts on the cultural adjustment experience!

sunset-691848_640While living abroad can be an exhilarating and incredibly enriching experience, the process of adjusting to a new culture can also be quite stressful — sometimes downright overwhelming. The ups and downs can be extreme, causing emotional whiplash if you’re not careful.

Having some sense of where you’re going — or at least knowing that what you’re experiencing is normal — can be reassuring and can help you trust that your current struggles as part of an ongoing process. Remember: whatever challenges you’re experiencing right now, the story isn’t over yet. Read More